I went to visit a friend who had quit the corporate world to start his own art-based business. This was a guy who wore, if not a suit, at least a tie and jacket to work every day for a decade. All the curtains in his house were drawn and his bed was littered with color samples, catalogs and all the assorted detritus of a home-based business. With his unshaven face and sunken eyes, he bore a frightening resemblance to Tom Hanks in Castaway. He leaned over and, with a wild glint in his eye, whispered I havent taken a shower in three days. That close to him it wasnt difficult to believe but I couldnt figure out why he felt the need to tell me.

A couple of years later I got it when I too had swapped working for the man for the pleasantly unstructured life of a home-based entrepreneur.

I was on my way to a Networking luncheon and slipped some dress shoes on only to find that my feet had apparently grown two sizes. My sneakers and my fluffy slippers fit just fine but they didnt go with my little black suit. I understood then that his confession had been more than a need to share his personal hygiene issues with me. He felt compelled to share the horror of what he was becoming.

At some point every back bedroom entrepreneur has an epiphany that they might be a little too far gone along the do-it-yourself continuum. For me it was the shoes. For my friend it was the orange water pouring out of his groaning shower head when he finally found a reason to shower.

If youre just starting out with a home-based business and still euphoric over getting to conduct business in your pjs or being able to take an Oprah break be aware that there is a dark side. One day you, too, will run slap up against a moment of clarity when you see your formerly civilized life slipping away from you and realize that you may have taken the ball and run with it just a little too far.

Its a tricky thing to get the balance just right. Theres so much to do in setting up and maintaining a business. And, mindful of the fact that 80% of all small businesses fail in the first year, you are probably anxious to do as much as you can as fast as you can in order to start bringing home the goods.

There are several balances to be worked out all of them tricky. When do you outsource and when do you do it yourself? How much can you work and still have a life and a family at the end of it? What do you absolutely have to do first and what can wait?

There are many excellent books and articles on what to do to set up your business. This isnt one of them. This is about how to be as you do those things. How to be kind to yourself; available to your family and friends and enjoy life even amid the uncertainty and stress of creating your dream from scratch. Your life isnt wallpaper to your daily struggle. It goes on whether you pay attention to it or not.

So here are a couple of tips to keep you present and focused. Some practical some more touchy-feely. All of them useful. Six things you can do to avoid singing the Home-Based Burnout Blues.

1. Find your Purpose.

This may sound pretty basic but its so basic many people dont do it. Your Purpose is not the same as your goal. Your goal is what you want to do; your Purpose is why you want to do it. Your Purpose is larger and inclusive of all aspects of your life.

Why do you want to do what you want to do? Why are you uniquely qualified to do it? If you dont know this and cant explain it to yourself how are you going to be able to market yourself? (Are you still laboring under the illusion that you wont have to market yourself? Are you still waiting for a knock at the front door from someone demanding your goods/services?)

Your goal may be to sell $200,000 of widgets this year. But your Purpose may be to sell $200,000 of a fine quality product with such integrity and appreciation for your customers that they will provide you with return business which will in turn provide for a good living for you and your family.

Write out your Purpose and post it everywhere. Stuff it in your sock drawer so itll surprise you when you least expect it. Definitely stick it on your TV. Read it every day. Dont lose this Purpose in the minutiae of daily tasks. Dont go unconscious to it. Be aware of what you do every day. Everything you do is a structure to either move you towards it or away from it.

Ask yourself periodically. Am I in line with my Purpose? Is playing with your kids in line with Purpose? Sure, if it keeps you sane and healthy and nourishes your family. Is watching back to back episodes of Cops in line with your Purpose? Probably not if you slump on the couch and come to three hours later wondering where the time went.

Theres an old Buddhist saying:

If you seek enlightenment do not waste your time by day or by night.

Switch success for enlightenment and youve got a pretty good mantra for business.

But what if youve been working your rear off and you decide that some mindless TV is just what the doctor ordered to rest your brain and give you a rare treat? Then - vegging on the couch may actually be in line with your Purpose because you chose to do it willingly and mindfully. Its about whether you choose the situation or let the situation choose you.

2. Once you find your Purpose plot a road map to it.

My husband and I once took a road trip which went through 8 beautiful Western states including Montana, Wyoming, Idaho and Utah . I had exactly two weeks of vacation and knew when I could leave and when I had to be back. In order to get back in time we had to budget a certain minimum amount of travel time per day and there were things we wanted to do along the way.

We went to AAA and they built what they call a Trip Tik for us. They gave us maps of all the states we would pass through and plotted the best route. We also scheduled in time for detours and hiking and just lolling around. They put all this information in a handy little pouch and gave it to us. It was a great trip.

Had we just set out on the fly without a plan we could have ended up stressed out hundreds of miles away from home the day before I was due back at work or we could have zipped through some beautiful scenery and found ourselves with time to spare and nothing to do in it.

So build yourself a Trip Tik to your Purpose. Take your day planner or a long sheet of paper and break your day up into appointment blocks. Two hour increments work great. These appointments are not negotiable. So be on time and ready to go. Make appointments with yourself to do the tasks you have prioritized. Make appointments with yourself to clean house, do yoga and walk the dog. But write it down. Otherwise time will seduce you. Theyre contracts with yourself and you need to keep them with as much integrity as youd keep any contracts with clients.

No matter how much fun youre having doing a task it should end when its supposed to end. It shouldnt take on a life of its own. In fact, the more you like doing it the more you need structure surrounding it. We all like to do pleasant things that were good at. But they may not be what needs to be done right now. Have definite starting and ending times for your day.

Make yourself an appointment for something active every few hours so youre not sitting on the phone or computer for 12 hours straight. If you have a problem with forgetting to eat or drink enough water schedule those too. I might schedule two hours of writing on my articles then a half hour appointment to clean the kitchen which would stretch me and get my circulation moving (and get the kitchen cleaned!). Back to the computer for answering e-mails and client paperwork and bookkeeping. Another hour scheduled for a quick lunch and walk in the park with the dog. Client phone sessions would be scheduled with ten minute breaks in between. Finish work at 6 PM.

I could easily work until 11 PM and have done so many times. But thats not healthy and not sustainable especially as I share my life and home with others. My particular Purpose includes having the energy and peace of mind to enjoy the results of all my hard work at the end of the day.

3. Put it in writing.

Put what in writing, you ask? Everything. Purpose. Ideas. Outlines. Lists. Deadlines. Goals. Studies show, by the way, that only 3% of us write down our goals. But of the 3% of entrepreneurs who do - a stunning 97% achieve their goals!

Get this stuff out of your head and onto paper. Make it so that your business is present and visible.

There are two great advantages to getting all of this stuff out of your head and onto paper. It makes your business real. A character in your daily life. And it saves energy because you dont have to worry about forgetting things or keeping track of ideas. So find a system and run with it. Get a Daily Planner. I love the Franklin Covey system. It combines journaling with an appointment calendar and a To Do list. Its expensive but you can usually find it on eBay. Write down your Mission statement; Vision statement and Business and Marketing Plans. Youll need a business plan anyway if youre planning on getting outside funds. Look at your Business and Marketing plan daily.

4. Value yourself.

Figure out your hourly rate and factor that in to every decision you make. I mean every decision. Its great to be able to build your own website. You can save a bundle if youre already computer-savvy and there are many excellent softwares which will help you. I made my first with a program I got from my website host. I put $14.95 on my credit card, downloaded it and within minutes was working on my site. I did it myself and it looked decent.

But it took me close to six weeks. I wasnt working on it full-time but when I wasnt I was thinking about it. It was a major distraction and it was a lot of fun. There was a learning curve so I first had to learn the software then implement it. I knew nothing about color or fonts or placement or keywords or metatags. I lost time that I should have been marketing and in the end the whole exercise was more a character building exercise than a website building exercise.

I survived and so did my site. But had I added up all the hours I worked on it (including the hidden hours when I got up at 3 AM to fiddle with it) and paid myself - I probably didnt save any money and I would have gotten a more professional looking site with a designer. When you decide whether to do something yourself or outsource it be sure to also factor in the time it takes to learn the software. This can be substantial.

Add up the missed marketing and promotional opportunities and add in the stress and aggravation factor.

If you want to outsource design work try a community bulletin board like Craigslist.org ( a stomping ground for many unemployed web designers). Theres now a Craigslist in pretty much every major city. Remember, too, that you dont need to even have a web designer living in your home state unless you plan on suing them over the end product. elance.com. is also great for home entrepreneurs. You can post your project online and receive bids from vendors. Check out their portfolios; interview them and go with the right one.

If youre good with graphics and hellbent on designing your site and cards, letterheads etc. yourself give yourself a deadline and stick to it. When I was starting out I figured out my hourly rate was about $75.00. I got in the habit of calculating how long it would take me to do something; learn the software and experiment by trial and error. I tried to factor in the frustration factor to me and the lost time to my family and other areas of my life. If I could hire a professional to do it for less I farmed it out.

5. Which brings us to money.

Dont get caught in the I cant afford it trap. You may not have much money to spend but everyone has a little. Allocate it wisely. You have to spend money to make money. Maybe this is a Universal law because it thins the herd right at the outset. If you dont invest in yourself why should anyone else?

Most of us have an ego mind which has mixed feelings about our success. One way to put a tripwire in front of what should be our stunning rush to success is to tell ourselves we cant afford to do what we know we need to do. Then its not our fault if we dont make it. We didnt make the cut because we didnt have the money to start our business right not because we were afraid or unwilling to risk.

If you dont have the money to pay for something barter it or ask for terms. Get a credit card and use it specifically for start-up expenses. Getting into a little debt isnt so terrible. If you have equity on your house take out a home equity loan or refinance it. Talk to a relative and ask them to swing you a short-term loan. There are many organizations out there which will loan to small businesses with a Business plan. (You do have a business plan, dont you?) Try Charo. SBA. Come from a place of abundance (hope) and not scarcity (fear). Assume and believe in your success. Then take the steps you need to take to be successful.

Part of figuring out your Trip Tik is figuring out what you absolutely cannot do without to get to your Purpose. There are certain elemental things youll need. Website. Business cards. Phone line. Make a list of bare necessities and find a way to pay for them. Dont buy or invest in anything else no matter how interesting or fun it might be until youve covered the basics.

"Vision without action is a daydream".

6. Build a team and a support system.

A one man band can usually play many instruments passably but none of them well. Find out what you do well and get help with the rest. Even if its only online. Find people you can network with locally. Theres probably a professional organization you can join. If not join Toastmasters or your local Chamber of Commerce. Ask for help. Get out of the house and rub shoulders with people who are doing what youre doing.

Ask for feedback. Do you know how many people would like to help you to succeed? Do you know how good it feels to give support to someone struggling to make something of their lives? Give your friends, and even strangers, this opportunity.

Find someone you admire in your field and write or call them. Tell them you would like to be where they are. Ask if they have any words of advice. If they respond - be sure to send them a thank-you letter. Then follow-up and let them know how their advice has helped you. Dont fall into limiting belief scripts that they wouldnt be interested; youre bothering them etc. Dont make their decisions for them. Think how youd feel if your expertise helped someone and they took the time to thank you. You breathe the same air as your mentors.

Finally, when you hit a roadblock be kind to yourself. Setbacks can hurt. Keep in mind that every moment is a fresh one and carries within it the seeds of tremendous fortune. The next contact you make could turn your life around.

If youve never been big on the God thing this isnt a bad time to give it a whirl. You dont have to be into organized religion. If you feel passionately about your business you may believe you were put on this earth to do it. Its nice to have Someone to thank or blame when things go up or down. Its good to have Someone to talk to when you just need to be heard. Its even better when they talk back.